Happiness: 3 Questions to Ask Yourself
The number one question I am always asked is: how did you get to a place where you are always happy? There isn’t an easy answer but the beginning of happy is knowing who you are. Up to now you have been fed your entire identity. You were given a name, told what religion to practice, what type of friend to be, what type of relationships to have, the best career to pursue, etc. Part of you knows something isn’t right and part of you that knows you can’t continue life the same way. You want to be happy but you’re unsure of how to get there.
When I set out on my journey to contentment, I had to figure out what was keeping me from happiness in the first place. In conjunction with not living in the present moment, I realized I was leading my life based on external influences. I was unhappy because I had bought into someone else’s idea of what should make me happy. I bought into the lie of what success is, what family is, and most importantly, who I should be, and it no longer sat well with me.
Even though I wasn’t sure of who I was, I was certain of who I was not. I’ve always been a curious person and accepting things as they are has never been a norm for me. To get to happiness you simply have to get curious and question everything. Start with figuring out what you believe about the world, then figure out what you believe about yourself. Make it a habit to become curious about yourself and how you relate to the world. Some guiding questions to ask yourself as you go through day to day activities are listed below.
Does this really matter to me?
Why does this matter to me?
Who said this was the way?
Each step of the way I had to tell myself to be ok with whatever I found. That’s the part where we tend to fail; we discover these things about ourselves that we don’t like as much so we try to bury them by ignoring them. I had to get to a place where I could hold all of who I am and let all parts of me exist in peace with one another. When you feel any shame for any part of your being, you leave no room for self-discovery.
The more you ask questions, the more you will discover. Sometimes you will have more questions than answers, that too is okay. Just keep at it, stay curious and stay diligent and remember to be kind to yourself and fuck what everyone else thinks because they don’t know shit either.