As if we didn’t go through enough emotions with their respective albums “Lemonade” and “4:44,” Beyoncé and Jay-Z dropped a joint album being even more candid about the complexities of love, specifically their own. Entitled, Everything Is Love, the album itself is exceptional work from them both. The 9-track album is a discussion of the ends and outs of relationships from their individual perspectives. On the song “713,” Jay-Z ends with an ode, if you will, to black women who love men who haven't always been deserving.
He says, “To all the good girls that love hustlers
To the mothers that put up with us
To all the babies that suffered 'cause us
We only know love because of ya
America is a motherfucka to us, lock us up, shoot us
Shoot our self-esteem down, we don't deserve true love
Black queen, you rescued us, you rescued us, rescued us”
In this, dare I say, apology, Jay addresses romantic love, the love between a child and their father, and the love between a mother and her son. To say that the relationship between the black woman and black man is complicated is a gross oversimplification at best. Our men go through a lot and we as black women tend to give up our lives to nurture their growth. But when do we stop? Sure, we get apologies like the one aforementioned, but must we endure so much pain for them to reach their destination?
Black women, we could stand to love ourselves the way we love our men. There is literally nothing wrong with loving a man to life but it cannot be the death of you. Despite what has been instilled in you, the only work you must do is your own. You should have never been assigned accountability duties to black men. Even if he takes years to get there or if he never arrives, it’s not your work. Our hearts will always ache for our men and we will always be empathetic because America is certainly a motherfucka to them, but America is a motherfucka to us too and no one is rescuing us from that but us. So, while my heart smiles each time Jay-Z acknowledges his shit, I’d much rather we avoid the need for apologies altogether.